Facing Fears: Rejection

I got my first rejection Sunday, which was nice. I know that might sound weird, but I was really looking forward to the first rejection. I wanted to know how I would react. Overall, I was impressed by how quickly the agent replied and how kind of a rejection letter it was. I thought I would be upset, perhaps even really devastated, but I wasn’t. I won’t say I wasn’t a little disappointed, but it was just a dull pang for a moment then it was gone. Like when I was applying for a job but only submitted a resume, then received an e-mail saying that they were going for different candidates. It was a bit disappointing but I was over it in a couple minutes.

I’m not really surprised by this, I didn’t think I would be too emotionally distraught. I’m aware that the publishing industry is a business and this is just part of the process. Maybe when there are less agents on my list it’ll be more upsetting. It’ll probably be different if I get a rejection on the partial I sent out, too. But I’d rather face a fear than wonder what if?

Source: Wikimedia.org

I actually like being scared. I’ve had an irrational fear of sharks since I was a little girl. Extremely irrational, even, since I grew up in a land locked state. Though, I did spend my summers between Louisiana and Florida so I did go to the beach. In order to get over that, I decided when I was in Australia to go snorkeling with some reef sharks. Of course, those rarely bit or attack people so it wasn’t dangerous but I did get over it. Now I’d like to go to South Africa sometime in the near future to see some Great Whites (don’t worry, I know better than to try and swim with them).

So, even though I worry (fear, really) getting to the end of my literary agent list and seeing nothing but “rejected” next to each name… I’d rather let that fear inspire me to write the best story I can and keep trying instead of giving up. On a related note, I came up with an idea for a YA that deals with fearful things (aka horror). I’ve completed a synopsis for it and might try to do that during NaNoWriMo — either the November or August one.

God Creepers

I got this book a little while ago because I’ve always been interested in various mythologies. I really wanted to take this Greek Mythology class in college but it never fit into my schedule. After I’ve read about all the gods/goddess and Roman/Greek heroes in this book I have one thought: gods are creepers. They watch people all the time and just pop down to have their way with woman they want to have momentary sexual encounters with whenever they please. Zeus, the worst offender, would chase women who didn’t want to have sex with him then force himself upon them (usually leaving them with child).

Also, if gods can pop out of nowhere (or Chaos, rather) then why can’t two unrelated gods pop out of nowhere? Why do all origins stories involve incests? Greek/Roman gods only came to be through relations between sons/mothers father/daughters sisters/brothers and so on.Everyone is related to each other and having children! How disgusting, right? I’m so glad I didn’t live in the Greek/Roman times because all the gods seemed to be incapable of taking the answer “no” from women. Gods forbid a woman doesn’t want to have sex, so they just do it with them anyway (and usually leave them pregnant).

Yeah, a couple of the goddess are sort of crazy (usually with jealousy) but that’s understandable. Women can go crazy with jealousy. The rest are just bad apples, I’d say that the goddess are a fair representation of women in general (for the most part, at least). But gods are just a horrible personifications of men, though there are a few decent (very few, though). Men aren’t that bad. Just imagine, if those were the stories of the great gods, how men must have been like back then… I shudder at the thought.

The stories are interesting, don’t get me wrong, but a lot of them are strange and unsettling. I suppose that’s the point of them, to teach people moral lessons and whatnot. But what lessons is to be learned when Zeus, one of the most powerful gods of all, is free to do what he pleases with women, even when they don’t want him to?

I loved the Heracles cartoon TV show when I was a kid and Zeus seemed like such a cool dad… apparently not. Apparently Heracles was kind of an asshole, too. It’s sad how our childhood heroes can be destroyed like that.

And as for the book (100 Characters from Classical Mythology: Discover the Fascinating Stories of the Greek and Roman Deities by Malcom Day), it’s a good read if you haven’t much knowledge of Roman/Greek mythology. It gets repetitive but it’s interesting nevertheless.

Friday the 13th

Happy Friday the 13th everyone!

I’m not particularly superstitious or anything like that, but I did love the movies. When it came down to the battle between Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elmstreet, and Halloween, Jason always won. I would always marathon all those movies depending on the time of the year when I was a kid. My mom never wanted me to, because I had a tendency to be completely freaked out for weeks. For ages I was scared that Michael from Halloween was going to be in my closet with a knife, but I couldn’t sleep if my closet door was closed (I don’t know why, it’s just one of those things — still is even).

I never really had fears of Jason. I imagine I would if I ever went camping and/or went to camp as a kid but I don’t get camping. Why pretend like you don’t have AC when you do? And God forbid I have to deal with bugs. I hate bugs. I only got into hiking and whatnot when I was in my late teens, even then I’d rather just keeping hiking until I got to a hostel. There was really nothing to do when it came to Freddy, other than not sleeping and I never did that.

For whatever reason, when I realized this Friday was the 13th, I decided it’d be the perfect time to start querying wider. I just like the idea of really kicking off the submission process properly on today. It helps that I’ve got everything in order now. Though, I’ve had it in order for a while now… but just a little too nervous to finally do it.

Except, of course, I made a mistake when I sent a query to one literary agent (I put the wrong name! What a silly mistake!) but I just resent it with the proper one and hope that’ll do.

That’s that, I suppose. I’ve started the query process. It’s really finally happening. I get the feeling I’ll be very flexible by the end of all this. I’ve decided that I need something to do after each rejection, something that helps me process it and move on, and it’s yoga. I’ve been doing it for a while, but not with any real conviction. Now I’ll have no other choice.

Just Joined YALITCHAT

I just joined YALITCHAT.org, actually I joined in last night but got my membership approved today. I’ve heard about it a couple of times through the grape vines over at AW’s Water Cooler. I finally decided to actually go over there and sign up last night, I’m not sure why it took me so long.

I’m pretty excited about this site, since I’d really like to know more people writing YAs. For whatever reason, most of those I know write adult, and while that’s nice it’s not the same as YA for obvious reasons.

Besides this news, I’m revamping my synopsis letter and doing one more check through my manuscript to make sure there aren’t any typos/grammar errors that I might have overlooked. Hopefully, in the next couple of weeks (ideally, before the end of July), I’ll be actively querying. One moment that prospect is exciting and the next it’s scary.

The “Amazing” Query Letter

That pretty much describes how I felt last night! But it’s a good feeling, a fantastic one! I could have screamed, if only it weren’t so late. Plus, my older brother is visiting right now and it would have freaked him out to hear me yelling.

I sent my first query out to a literary agent a while back. Actually, June twenty-second to be exact. I was testing it to see if it would work. I really didn’t expect to hear back from her in such a short time. Last night, though, I did. She wants the first fifty page, which means the query letter must work. How exciting!

She is definitely one of my top picks, but I’m aware this is just a small step. It’s just since it’s my first query letter and my first request for a partial I am ever-so happy! All the kind things she had to say about my query letter was wonderful, too. I had sent one to my critic group (fantastic, amazing, writers!) and then trashed that to start again. Then I posted I think two different types on AW’s Water Cooler’s Query Hell. I trashed both of those, too, and wrote something completely different.

Like, really different. I liked it better than the others, and sent the first version of it to Query Goblin to see if it worked. Which, luckily, it did. Then I was given a guaranteed query critic when I signed up for a Writer’s Digest webinar and decided why not? I’d send my weird, somewhat non-conventional, query letter to her and see if it worked. If it didn’t, that’d be sad, but at least I’d know and she’d give me pointers to tell me how to alter it. If it worked…

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t dream of it working and her asking me for a partial, but I really didn’t think it would happen. That’s why it took me eleven minutes to actually open the e-mail. When I read over it my heart soared! It’s the little things in life you have to enjoy 🙂

Even if she decides the story isn’t for her after reading the partial, I’ll still be grateful and pleased. Probably a little disappointed but I’ve always chosen to focus on the good instead of the bad. As Randy Disher said, happiness is a choice. (If you get that reference without googling it, you’re amazing and I love you!)

Of course, I don’t expect this to work out. After all, it’s my first try and it’d be too… weird if it worked. I’ve read a lot of stories of writer’s not getting an offer until query letter 75. I think that’ll be my story when this is all said and done.

Now for the reason that ‘amazing’ is in the title of this post! I don’t get this news until I got back from seeing the Amazing Spiderman. I’m a hero movie geek, it’s my big brother’s fault and since he was in town we decided to see it together. It  was… well, amazing. Really amazing. Andrew Garfield is ten times better than Tobey Maguire was at being Spiderman. Plus the actors in it are amazing ones like Denis Leary (so funny), Martin Sheen, Campbell Scott (I have a crush on him), and Emma Stone (my favorite actress, but she needs to return to a ginger. Redheads are the funnest, trust me).

And Andrew Garfield…? I could scream like a little school girl whenever I see him wearing glasses. I love guys with glasses and he’s already so handsome. Anyway, if you are wondering whether to see it or not: see it! It’s a fun, action packed, interesting plotted, story. Yes, you know the Spiderman story — everyone does — but this movie does it well.